i’ve been carrying around a ticking time bomb for over a week. it’s set to go off every minute and each time i feel that it is about to go off, i have to convince myself that it can wait another minute. and those minutes turn into hours, and then days. consuming my time with pointless activities keeps my mind from acknowledging the utter and complete pain that i am in.
i have avoided listening to music at all costs. it’s the most beautiful gift to the world, but it cuts like a knife when you are at the end of your rope. damn you for making me realize how true this pain is. damn you for reminding me the love that i’ve lost.
in the moments that i can close my bedroom door and know that i am truly alone, i can completely breakdown and feel all that i have been holding all day. do i feel better when the tears have dried to my face, with eyes tired and swollen? it’s hard to say… the tears seem to numb me, but yet again, i feel it all.